Art vs. Rent

Hello.

Some of you know that I'm currently voicing some eLearning software, and in the most recent case the subject has been Trig. Yes, I'm voicing Trig software. I'm teaching kids Trig. Welcome to the world of VoiceOver. Hey, the whole point is I make it SOUND like I know what I'm talking about, regardless of the fact that I never, myself, advanced past Algebra II.

My director/ engineer for these sessions, Kipp, is a relatively quiet guy, but when he does speak, it's usually entertaining, or at least sparks a flare of interest in my brain. The other day, during one of our rather arduous sessions, in which I believe I had to say "Trigonometric functions" at least twenty times, he came out with a line that was not only completely true, but I thought a good topic for this blog.

In the midst of a bit of tongue-tied lunacy, I stopped a particular take and just sort of huffed a gripe about how I had zero idea what I was talking about at this point. He told me "hey, it still sounds like you do, and that's all that matters", and that was when he gave me the quote that so-well described what we were doing. "Look", he said, "My friend Gene and I have talked about this many times. There's voice over work that is art, and then there's the kind that pays your rent. There's art, and there's rent. This is rent." Totally.

I think it's worth mentioning to anybody interested in Voice Acting, either as a career, or just wanting to know more about it from an outsider's standpoint, I will tell you that you will do MANY gigs to stay afloat that while they may be profitable, may not get your artistic rocks off... and that's okay! God knows we all need to make money. We need to eat, put roofs over our heads, provide for ourselves and our family/ies, and maybe even enjoy some creature comforts. ( and I'm not saying 'getting rich' is out of the question either, for an actor, it's just rare ). But, at the end of the day, we're Artists, Entertainers, and we love to elicit a laugh, a tear, a smile, maybe some shock... an emotion, basically. And it's a bit easy to sometimes get disheartened when sitting in a booth, reading 60-80 pages of Math text. Thing is, I'm grateful for ANY work I get, and I suppose you could say I'm helping kids learn math in at least a SEMI-fun way, but no, I'm not playing the lead in some groundbreaking rock opera, I'm not singing Queen's gretest hits, I'm not getting to play a David Mamet character.
Still, I am thankful. I get paid to use my voice, sometimes in animation, sometimes in Audio Books, sometimes in Commercials...and sometimes in eLearning. And while it's not all great, HIGH ART, it is all a creative use of my voice, and it pays.

And I love it.

Forty Years Ago... In Which Your Humble Bloggist Contemplates Becoming An Ostritch

Forty years ago, before I was born, before most or all of you were born, I would imagine, it was the "Summer of Love" and Woodstock was THE event. An orgy of free love, drug experimentation, peace and rock and fucking roll.

Maybe that's when it all started going wrong.

In the interest of balance, it seems the pendulum always swings back and forth, liberal...conservative...liberal...and back again.

But what the fuck has happened in America lately?
We elect a fairly liberal, black President, who like all Presidents, makes good on some of his promises, and falters on others, and it feels like we're on the verge of Anarchy. I don't know about all of you, but some of the reactions at these town hall meetings scare me just as much as the thought of poorly-run Government Health Care. Morevover, all the people I spent my twenties despising: Rush, Hannity and their ilk, all seem to me now to have SOME valid points, and that REALLY scares the hell out of me. In some ways, I feel like I'm becoming a fiscal conservative while remaining wildly liberal in the social sphere. And so be it if that's the case, but the me of ten years ago would have been sickened by the thought. Maybe the me of ten years ago wasn't really as "open-minded" as I liked to pretend.
Then at other times, say when I'm reading Spike Spencer's ULTRA-nationalistic, very conservative blog about how fuckin' great America is ( and yes, it is ) and how much Europe sucks ( sorry, I don't believe it does ), the mad liberal that I was in the '90s comes out again, and I get all "fuck you and your bloated ultra-Patriotism!".

It is at moments like these that I just want to take a tab of Fuckitol and stick my liberal/conservative/anarchistic/commie/fascist/faggot/hetero/bisexual/black/white/asian/german/indian head in the sand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe, after a few deep breaths and not a little contemplation, what I'll realize is that I, like many people, am just not that easily categorizeable. Maybe I don't fall into nice little niches, nooks and crannies invented by people who need a label for every thought that comes out of every person's head.

So, before I pledge allegiance again, to any flag, I think I need to make a pledge to MYSELF to not be an ostritch, but to proudly walk with my head held high, and my beliefs intact, no matter who they might please or offend.

my favorite line from any musical ever, comes from the show Chess... at the end of the first Act, the Russian Chess Champion is defecting to the US, and he is asked why he is "leaving" Russia.
His response- "I leave NOTHING!" After which, he sings one of the most beautiful songs ever written, called "Anthem"... and my favorite line is the last one sung, and it says this-
"Let man's petty nations tear themselves apart...My land's only borders lie around my heart!"

Amen

I = Rock Star

Why? Because I auditioned for, was booked for, and completed a gig all in one day.

hell yeah!

it was a commercial, for the curious, for a Car Dealership, a TV voice over...

okay, done bragging, really I was just very pleased with myself, and thought I'd share...

onto some other things...
Squeaky is finally out of jail. She's sixty. She was charged with pointing a gun at Ford... Poor Gerald Ford, like, who did he ever hurt.
I digress. I don't know how to feel about Squeaky being out. I mean, it doesn't affect me one way or the other. She had been a Manson follower, but then turned states evidence against him in court in connection with the Tate /LaBianca murders, though I don't remember her exact role in said murders. Still, the fact that she was one of Manson's gang freaks me out, but... my goodness, that was decades ago, and we all know how people change. So, I dunno, perhaps it's the liberal in me, but, I think she's done her time and she should probably be very heavily monitored, but yeah, let her out of the Institution...
Meanwhile, Michael Vick has actually been signed to a football team...
Let me repeat this: the guy who was found guilty of not just fighting dogs, he TORTURED them, now has a job again. A really GOOD, well-paying job... Where is the justice? I do not know. I am not the Universe. And though I ultimately put my faith in the Divine, I must say that sometimes the Divine confuses me... Then again, maybe this has nothing at all to do with the Divine, and everything to do with free will... My whole point being, as much as I despise the guy, it is still not my place to judge him... though it's awfully hard not to.

It's raining outside, again. This is like the fifth day in a row here in Houston, which is amazing, because we basically went the whole summer with no rain. Wow. I love this!

Okay, that is all. I'm sorry I'm so tired, but I've been working my ass off and working out a lot, so, I must go get sleep.

I'll blog again soon!


xoxo,
Chris

Negative Energy of Rude People in Line at Walgreen's

First, I know it's uncool to talk on your cell phone at the register. I know this. In fact, I kind of frown up on doing it myself, and have probably done it enough times in my life to be able to count on one hand.

On the other hand, we live in a free country, and though it bothers the fuck outta me, if somebody is going to be rude and self-absorbed enough to do it, people should just let them and get past the incident, in my humble opinion.

Let me expound:
The other day I was at Walgreen's, buying stuff, duh. ( I LOVE 'pharamacies' and 'convenience stores' by the way, like, almost to the point of unhealthy addiction) Anyway, this sort of, well, brash woman with a grandiose attitude and a loud voice was bustling and storming through the store, shopping like a woman without a country, and all-the-while talking a mile-a-minute on her magical cell phone. Now, already, she's on my nerves. I mean, I'm in my own little world, shopping and getting things I need and enjoying the general ambience of Walgreens, whatever that means, but still this... well, this person ( I'm trying to be positive here ) is power-walking her way all over the store, carrying on a conversation loud enough for probably the entire store to hear.
Okay, fine, whatever... but then, ha ha, wouldn't ya know, and not that I really cared, but she ends up right in front of me in line. I was over it at this point. I just wanted my stuff, and I was tuning her out, just kind of eavesdropping every now and then.
Alright, well, at one point, as she's speaking, still loudly, as people are lined up behind her and before her in line, she intones "I know, it's just WEIRD!" Okay, so... then something happened that actually DID set me on edge... This very angry-looking, red-faced overweight gentleman turned her way, scowled and said "ya know what's WEIRD? talking on your cell phone at the register!!!"
Okay, I know, some of you are cheering him on at this point, right? That's fine, I get it, but... wow... I actually was more undone by his vocally awkward intrusion into her private business, and the manner in which he chose to express his displeasure. It was just... I don't know, unnerving. I guess the way I see it is this: Yes, it's annoying and rude to talk on your cell phone in line at the cash register, but damn, it's downright unsettling, I think, to get confrontational about it. It takes the negativity up a notch, and just fouls the energy of the space.

Apart from that, I just bought my first MGMT CD ( yes, I do still buy CDs, must as I love my little iPOD ) and I must say, I'm sorry I put off lisetning to them for so long.

Okay, I'm done for now.
I promise I'll have more to blog about soon, I've just been very busy recently.

xoxo,
Chris

Indispensible Commodities??? of Futurama Voices and Abdul-ish Choices

So, the cast of Futurama is getting their dough and all those who lick the boots of that mediocre show can now rejoice.

Ya know, good for them, because they are my compatriots, these VAs, my peers, my co-workers, in essence. I'm glad, despite the fact that I was one of the many males up to replace Fry ( supposedly ) in Billy West's stead. The thing is... I mean, argh, how does your humble bloggist say this? I can't get too excited because I fucking HATE Futurama! There. I ripped the Band-Aid off the wound and said it. But again, yay for the actors who held out, because, and this is a lesson all actors must learn about themselves, and live, no matter how much scorn they face: ACTORS HAVE VALUE! That is why so many of those who voice Anime do so many OTHER things with their voices, because the pay for dubbing Anime is, quite frankly, shit. So yes, we do commercials, and narrations, and audio books, and video games, and whatever else our agents can wrangle up for us, and oh while I'm on this rant: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I CHARGE 'APPEARANCE FEES' AT CONVENTIONS!!! Why? Because, a. I've been in well over 100 shows and have voiced characters considered 'iconic' in the Zeitgeist of Anime culture and b. I'm a con 'veteran' and a member of the '50+' club, meaning I've attended well-over fifty conventions. Also, this may surprise many people but CONVENTIONS ARE WORK! Even when they're in England, or Chicago, or L.A., it's not all "holiday", believe me. And even apart from all that, when we appear at conventions we miss out on work and potential work. THAT having all been said, my appearance fee is still very modest by most people's standards...

WHEW!

Wow, that was sorta random...

Okay, onto the related Paula Abdul story.

How is Paula's 'not returning' to American Idol related?
Because, like the VA's for Futurama, she is simply holding out for more money, and again, rightfully so. That show would be NOTHING without the three original judges. If one leaves, the other two become an imbalanced force, and please, please don't tell me you think that woman they brought on last season could replace Paula... come on now!
And I know, the media is already reporting Paula's departure is in the bag, but just wait. They'll offer her more money, and she'll come back... and you know what?
GOOD FOR HER!


xoxo,
Chris

Bad Booth Words

hello friends, enemies, and all those in-between!

today I decided I wanted to talk about Voice Acting a bit, because one particular, kinda funny thing has been on my mind recently, since I've been voicing these Math Modules for LearningMate.

First, of all, I have to say I love doing eLearning work, because it's a great workout for the vocal instrument, it furthers your prowess at cold reading, and it's also pretty steady work.

But, one thing you discover really fast with this kind of work is what your BAD WORDS are. Meaning, the words that trip your tongue up, tangle your cheeks and overall just make you stop the take and say SHIT really loud into the mic, hopefully not deafening your engineer...

Mine, dear readers, is "substitute". I don't know why, but especially when I'm in a good narrating zone, and we're trucking along with these math modules, explaining the hell outta some algebra, whenever we come to the word "substitute", my mouth has the MOST difficult time pronouncing it. It almost feels like my tongue becomes momentarily, partially paralyzed, or that it has a very stupid mind of its own, and just doesn't want to say the word to full clarity. Argh! We all have words that trip us up, but man, nothing has ever vexed my sessions like "substitute".

Just though I'd share that little bit of booth biz with ya.

And, I'm very happy to say I have to new auditions for animated shows coming up this week that I'm pretty stoked about. Updates on those as they come, and best of luck to all of you in all you do!


xoxo,
Chris

Thanking Deity

For those of you who don't know, I practice magick. Pretty simple magick, for the most part, mainly to do with intention and visualization. When I'm very serious about it, I usually find the results to be quite potent. To all who are offended or concerned about the fact that I practice magick, I think you should know that to me, magick is a birthright, given to humankind by God, or however you choose to name or see Deity. And I never, ever, practice or spellcast in any way that would propogate negativity or cause harm. I always intend everything for the highest, greatest good. I'm sure there are even more of you who think this is all hoo-ha and silliness, but really, what I call "magick" could also be called Quantum Physics or Energy Work. In other words, though it's tied to spirit, I see it as mainly a scientific practice. It's an exercising of will.

Anyway, whether or not you agree with the practice of magick ( spelled with a 'k' so as to designate it from that art form of illusion which is highly practiced in Vegas, for example ), I still hope you can take something away from what's on my mind, and what spurred me to blog in such a manner today.

A current spell, if you will, that I am working on and finding very powerful is a breathing, visualization and intention exercise whose purpose it is to get you to a central place, where you can put out an intention in a very clear manner. And at the end, you are told to 'thank Deity'. For some reason, that part of the exercise really stuck out to me, because, even if you're a hardcore Atheist, a teetering Agnostic, or a devout Practicioner of any specific religion, I think it is important to thank... something. Whether it's God, or nature, or science, or energy, or even your parents for bringing you into this world, I think it's always important to be thankful. Because the fact alone that you exist, empowers you with the ability to do anything you want, no matter how you choose to do it.


xoxo,
Chris