Can We Please, For Fuck's Sake, Not Foster Ignorance ... Just For Like... oh I dunno, A Day???

I was listening to the morning radio show on the local pop station this morning, pretty-much because it always reminds me that I'm smarter than most of the sheepish population of our city. I know, that's arrogant, but it's the truth. I'm assuming most of the people who read this blog are pretty smart, or at least life-savvy as well, therefore you shouldn't feel as if I'm talking down to you.

So the morning show has this thing called Dumb Question Amnesty Day... Where basically listeners can call in and ask stupid questions, and not be laughed at for not knowing the answers.
Well, this particular morning, before the DJs even started taking calls from listeners, the female lead "on air personality" posed her own question: "Why do we say 'lambasted', when we really just mean talking smack". Now, I'm paraphrasing a bit, but you'll get the gist. She then went on to say, "I mean, doesn't the word 'lambasted' make it look like we're talking about basting lambs?"... Yes, people, she said that, to which the male lead "on air personality" responded. "Well, I mean, who TALKS like that anyway?! I mean, who would say 'oh, you lambasted him', when you can just say "man, I was doggin' on this guy!"....

Really?

Well, Mr. On Air Personality, I talk like that, you daft troglodite! I use words like "lambasted", "enunciate", "cerebral", "aforementioned", etc in my every day conversation, and that does not make me a pretentious dick wad. It means I read, am educated, and have an appreciation for the English language; which, might I add, I do not wish to see devolve in to nothing but l33t speak and street slang. Oh, by the way Mr. On Air Personality, 'devolve' means to de-evolve, to spiral down, to become less great. Okay? Thanks.

I'm sorry, but ignorance and the propagation of ignorance are things that really "grind my gears" ( thank you Seth MacFarlane ) when it comes to society in general, and especially to the preponderance of bombardment of Pop-Culture hoopla, which seems to be rife with some form of anti-intellectual "newspeak".

Everybody, please, read or watch 1984, and maybe you'll start to be concerned about this kind of thing as much as your humble bloggist.


that is all for now


end of line ( yay Tron )


Chris

Down With Love!

Wow,

Day two and I'm already breaking form. Because this entry has fuck-all to do with Pop-Culture and is all about... well, me.

Because, ladies and gentlemen, I was dumped today.
While it was a shock, I had sort of known, or sensed it was coming for a while. Still, the way it came about and was told to me was just really odd and surprising, and it, in some ways, did seem to come out of nowhere.

So, to all the broken hearts out there... tonight, this blog's for you!


xoxo,
Chris

A Fan With Boundary Issues, or, Stay the FUCK Outta My Personal Space!

Recently, while making one of my many Guest Appearances at an Anime Convention, something a bit, well, unprecedented happened. To put it politely, I would say that a fan of mine got a bit gregarious. To put it harshly, I would say I was the victim of low-grade assault.

Here's the story:
I was delivering one of my pseudo-notorious "Chris Patton Shares Too Much" panels, and I was getting into the nitty-gritty of one of the more sexual sub-sections of the discussion, when this DOUCHEBAG approached me, on stage, and proceeded to grab my head. He grabbed it, all vise like, to where I couldn't move, extended his tongue, and licked up one side of my face, and across my forehead!!!... slowly and roughly, mind you.... ICK. Fucking nasty! And, keep in mind, please, that this was done with no provocation, or certainly invitation! It was just out-of-the-blue, random-ass personal space invasion!

Probably sounds fairly simple, but it really was kind of shocking
and disgusting. I immediately took hand sanitizer out of my pocket
and wiped my cheek and forhead with it, which burned, but was still better than having strange spit all up and over my face.

Anyway, security through the guy out, and I was asked if I wanted dto press charges. "Nah", I said, "it was just really weird... and gross." And I let it go as well as I could. But, to be honest, it fucking pissed me off.

This isn't the first time a fan has gotten up in my shit, or even done something relatively inappropriate, but this particular incident was just beyond the pale.

So, to anybody who wants to lick my face, touch my junk, rip my clothes off, kiss me violently, throw me on the ground, or try and kick my ass 'cause you're a dub-hater, whatever... just... don't... or at least ASK before you do any of the above-mentioned things...

kthx!
Chris

All Over the Map... If I Blog It, Will They Come???

Good morning, blogosfolks.

As I woke up at the ass-crack of dawn, meandered my way to the gym in my little Kia, and began letting the cogs of my brain-machine turn, I knew after five minutes that I would not be able to stick to one subject today, as I would like to, and as I usually will here on Pop-Culture Poop.

But today, there's simply too much bouncing around the old noggin.

First, I wanna say that I'm so stoked the 3D Gophers kicked the Wizard's ass at the Box Office! Not that I'm a Harry Hater, but I do think it's cool to sometimes see Goliath felled by David, especially in Hollywood. I have yet to see G-Force, but am going to make a go of it this weekend. I'm a totaly 3D nerd, for the record.

Moving on, I want to talk about my experience with Bruno whilst in the lovely city of St. Louis. I was there, of course, for a convention appearance ( for those of you who don't know your humble Bloggist is a Voice Actor, and often gets asked to make appearances at Anime Conventions due to his body of work voicing very pretty-boyish characters in said field ), and also in attendance was my friend John, whom I convinced to take me to a Friday night showing of Bruno.
Let me start by saying that John, a lovely hetero friend of mine, is a total trooper for sticking it out, first of all, and big ups, as it were, to any straight dude who can make it through that cringe-inducing film. Biggest props, I suppose, must be given to Sacha Baron Cohen for being a completely fearless heterosexual actor, and engaging in some of the shenanigans he got up to in this, his second Hollywood Blockbuster, riding of course on the coattails of the blazing success of Borat.
I guess my feelings about this film were mixed. I loved Borat from beginning to end, and while it was outrageous, offensive, and awesomely over-the-top, I thought Bruno pushed the taste boundaries a bit too far, and for me, that's saying a LOT! Don't get me wrong, I laughed my ass off, but, wow, a few of the scenes just went way beyond the land of necessary and right into disgusting territory.
I believe when it all comes down to a finer point, or under the microscope of analysis, I prefer Sacha Baron Cohen as a character actor outside the realm of his three most-famous characters, Ali G, Borat, and Bruno. I can more greatly appreciate Baron Cohen in roles such as that of Pirelli in that dreadful Tim Burton disaster remake of Sweeney Todd. In fact, I would say SBC and Alan Rickman (godlike actor!) were the only two decent things about that piece of shit film. But I digress.
So, if you're totally down with ultra-homo-erotic dirty dirty over-the-top humor, and love SBC's style of shock comedy, you MUST check out Bruno. If you're squeamish, stay away!

Okay, please indulge me as I get into weird territory here, and let me bitch for a bit, about the gym. Yes, "Gay Church", the Sweat Factory, the place of iron-pumping, etc... I love the gym. It's great. Possibly the greatest stress relief that exists apart from riding roller coasters, in your humble Bloggist's opinion. But lately I've become aware of a disturbing trend.
It seems that in the new United States of Paranoia, of which, I might add, I'm a proud citizen, things have gotten, again, over-the-top, this time in the realm of our war against germs.
It used to be that after using a circuit machine, or a cardio machine, you would simply do your fellow gymgoer the courtesy of wiping your sweat from the surface of said object... Now, however, at least at my gym, people have taken to spraying some toxic-looking green chemical on coarse paper towels and wiping down the machines with the strange solution.
Call me crazy, but I'd rather a machine just be wiped dry, than have to face sitting in a pool of "germ-killing" fluid whilst working ab-reps... Ironic, especially, since I'm a germaphobe. But even as a germaphobe, I believe cleanliness can go beyond Godliness, and head straight to Obssesiveness.
Argh!

Okay, I'm done for now, as I must go do post-workout stretching and get ready for a recording session at 9 am

Tune in next BLOG TIME when I talk about how I was assaulted by a fan with boundary issues at a recent con! No, seriously! ( and to the good people who run that con, I will NOT name your event, and I do NOT hold you all responsible, at all! )

'Til next time!

Your Humble Bloggist,
Chris

First Communique' - Everybody Get Ready!

Hello Pop-Culture People!

Please allow me to introduce myself:
I am Chris, and I am an actor / singer / voice over artist / writer / and self-proclaimed Pop-Culture Guru, which also means over-opinionated bastard.

Follow me along on this ride, and let's have some fun together, as we follow the ridiculousness of the world of Pop-Culture and life in general!


peace for now, luvs!
do keep checking in!


Chris